An affair with Paris

Romance in a nut shell
cracking illuminations galore,
a glory at night

the soft nibbles by the wind
necking moans of intimacy
subtle whims by the Seine
Pont Neuf glancing over my shoulder

Rose tainted glass of Notre damn
beckoning, teasing and tempting
cornering your heart with ease
a gargoylish fervor to match

each stroke on my slate clean
paints a different color
a cheek has never seen this red
vanilla skirting on the hips
sacred heart soaked in sinful indulgence

Windmill swaying the will
leather n chemise
a musical high note
unsung yet resonates in thyself

Standing erect in his towering presence
metallish devil look conquering wonder
proving his mettle
climbing stairs to heaven above
challenging those who dare n fear

lips parted in motion of spelling
sparkling in the twilight
Grey clouds and deep blue sky
Huddling together for warmth
sighing a calmness
making love to cupid

It always happens to me

There are these things that always happen to you. No matter where you are and in which state of mind you are in. Like, when you want to stand in a queue which you think is shortest, the longest line will move faster than yours. Or just when you reach the counter in a cinema theatre they place the house full board. All these incidents seem to be related to the wait one has to go through to get to what they want and when they actually do, come near IT happens.

The only incident I remember as I write this post is my passport application. Of all the million applications the passport office send to the Police Commissioner’s office only mine got lost and got to sent to a God forbidden place far from the Bangalore city stations. The people who had applied after me got theirs done before me.

Well, like MT says, “Life’s like that”.

It was a sudden impulsive decision to go for Sivaji. The movie theatre in Wood Green, which was 45min by tube from the place I live. We had half hour to get ready and we had booked the tickets online (mercifully!!!). Two tube changes. We could easily make it if it was for… the “it happens only to me effect!”

• We just missed one train by a matter of seconds. (In India, it would be that all the autos, which otherwise would have been lining up, have vanished into thin air or full with passengers.)
• The tube which we got was only till Baker Street. (Needed to go till King’s Cross, which means waste of five min waiting for the next train or take the Bakerloo line) We decided to wait for the next Metropolitan train. Tick Tock. Tick Tock! Late and delays in the lines.
• Change to Picadilly line. Delay again. It had to happen to our line. We saw a train going the opposite way, on the parallel line, stop after us and take off before us. Sigh!
• The show was to start at 19.45 and we reached there 19.50
• We end up in the wrong entrance.
• When we reached there was a long queue.

Only one line and it was moving at a fast pace and I was happy that we might probably miss only the first five min as opposed to 10-15min late we thought we would arrive. I was one lady away from the counter. The person at the counter moves away and the lady in front of me walks towards the counter, when the ticket issuer gets up to go inside. The lady shakes her head and walks back to the line. I smile and tell her, “always happens to you doesn’t it???”.

Invisible randomness

Pages of myself
flutter in scenes of fantasy
open as a full bloom
on a smirking winter sun

Clouded in judgment
dreamy soap operas
play on loop n high bass
strings unhooked strings

Unwritten scribbles of whisper
guarantee of none
pellets of letters
stumble out in the daylight
questions I dare to ask
answers I am not ready to seek
slapped on with vigor
of thousand men have come
for more have yet to go
pass the same path
invisible with open eyes.

Anger

I can't believe this. This has never happened to me before. I usually tend to get angry at the people I love the most. And this time I JUST CANNOT feel anger. I get angry and then see that Puppy face and tis gone! I must be nuts. There is or I think there is no underlying brewing unease or anger that will explode one day. It just vanishes into thin air...

And we thought that fighting is a good thing!!! U know whoe this is aimed at!!! :-)

Chennai Dosa

I was just talking to one of my friends and He voiced out exactly what I was thinking and writing actually. I miss Masala Dosa!!! I am not a foodie as such, I love food n eating different cuisines. But there are these certain food items that I just cannot not have. I remember I was sitting in Shiv Sagar near my Chirst College just before leaving for London and thinking OH GOSH I know for sure that I WILL miss Dosa in London. And I was not wrong!!!

Homeward bound???

I was just beginning to post my resume on Times Job and they had asked for my CV. As I browsed through my CV and saw that the address written is obviously of where I am staying at the moment which is in Harrow, London. So in the process I typed my old home address. As I was typing I felt pangs of Horror. I CANT GO BACK TO INDIA. I just cant go back and work there for a meager salary and enjoy a simple life. I want extravagance. I want to live in a posh place with ofcourse my friends and family nearby, which I wont have if I stay back in London. But the point is that I can always go back to India but its mighty difficult to come to London and start from scratch!! OH MY GOD help me. I really want to stay back but then I really need also a breather to go back home and visit my friends, family; a small outing and then I can come back to work here for some years. Probably I might want to travel to USA and work there one day!!

But I am literally being torn apart!!! I WANT TO STAY BACK HERE but I also want to go back. I think I will never be satisfied with India. I dont want to blame my lack of rising ambition or stature on the country that has borne me for so many years!!! I cant get myself to go back to India and say I am home!!! cuz I AM AT HOME NOW!!! :-)

Forceful

I have just been reading blogs at random and wherever I turned to I found that probably the same existential questions were being repeated. About Crime, Corruption, Rape, Alcohol, Rabies, Sex, Love, Life, Death. Heck! I read my own blog and I find the same topics all over the place.

We all have a set definition of what is right and wrong
Each of us have an opinion
and Dialogue gets us excited. No one can deny that there is a pleasure derived from being opposed and an argument arising from it. Intellectual??? We are as intellectual as we much as we can talk, argue and defend our statements.
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I had a disturbing dream! It recurs all the time. I always have a package or something with me and people are chasing me or I am running away from some person or people! I invariably have winding stairs and I never climb up, I run down and the running is like floating down. No grip of gravity but expert at floating down!

The pursuer or attacker who is chasing you in your dream may also represent a part of you. Your own feelings of anger, jealousy, fear, and possibly love, can assume the appearance of threatening figure. You may be projecting these feelings onto the unknown chaser. Next time you have a chase dream, turn around and confront your pursuer. Ask them why they are chasing you.

If you are flying with ease and enjoying the scene and landscape below, then it suggests that you are on top of a situation. You have risen above something. It may also mean that you have gained a different perspective on things. Flying dreams and the ability to control your flight is representative of your own personal sense of power.

Two completely different meaning of one single dream. I know I am nuts but this is the heights! No not yet reached there I guess. Tis just the beginning! I am out of control and under control at the same time. Interpretation of an interpretation differs.
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I cant read long posts even when they are absolutely brilliant. I am not sure whether I will have the patience to write one (unless i cut copy paste, like I did in the above section) I confess I dint bother to read the interpretations completely. I got an understanding of it and wrote it.
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My mood swings are so erratic nowadays and come what may I blame everything on the damn weather and the London water. Hair Loss= London Hard water, Flu= weather, Depression= weather, continuous thirst even after drinking gallons of water= London Water.
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I fall in love easily. Actually start believing that I am in love very easily. Then I am in that groove that its hard to get out of it! True love??? baaah.. sheep's skin! I have gotten hooked to writing poems. I have no clue whether they are any good but I like the fact that I dont need to stick to grammar or use full stop, commas. The number of lines can be anything and not necessarily rhyme.
I love challenging myself to write something in such few words and yet only few can understand the hidden meaning!
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I am forcing myself to write. Intellectually stunted I guess.