Who put India on the map in Egypt?

Who put us on the map?

 

-         - Amitabh Bachchan did.

 

I am astounded at the number of people who knew Amitabh Bachchan and more shocked that people in Egypt saw Bollywood movies. Although, I really shouldn’t be surprised as the “jhatkas” and “matkas” have made waves through out the world. These were normal people in the market place, trying to sell you their goods and their strategy was to call out Amitabh Bachchan’s name. My tour guide warned us about this. He told us that they are out to sell things to you and say his name out loud to catch your attention. But I was initially plagued by the misconception that I might find one or two guys who would do this. No! Every single person!

It would, although, be wrong on my part if I said his name was the solely reigned as their inviting tactics. Ofcourse king Khan was there and so was Rani Mukherjee. My mom had one guy come up to her, did a Namaste and said “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.” All we could do was smile back. And then there was one odd guy (one really odd guy more like it) who called out Sonia Gandhi’s name.By Go, if someone had said Deepika Padukone’s name, I would have gagged!

Any who, I did in the end fall for it. Shopping therapy obviously! 

Acceptance and the Cut

What if the same friends who pledged to listen to you turn deaf to your words?

The most important friends, or the friends whom I consider my best friends have no clue about the trip I just had. What happened, where I went, how the weather there was, did I have a good time? Nothing.

It infuriates me that they don't care enough to want to know. But then may be these things bore them. They don't want to know what I did. What would they get out of it? And that too when they don't consider it interesting or what I did there.

I also think that I have shut down. A lot!!! I like myself this way... Upsetting to know that I love "aloneness"!!! :) my word.... I don't care to elaborate to people who don't want to listen. I spoke about myself to a total stranger on the trip because she wanted to listen. To me, to what I did, what I like, how I prepare for a vacation... Study about the civilization, to know before going and visiting the place.

Now, I am stuck. Between loving my loneliness and getting irritated with the callousness. I am unable to tell them that I need to put an end to this. Which does mean amicably part as friends who were... And there I am put in a pickle -- my inner voice of fear -- I am scared of pity. I cannot explain that feeling. Pity.

I know why some men and women move away from their friends when they find love. You want to spend every waking moment with the one you love. I found love, my passion. It is isolating, cause its within me. Words! Mine, to myself, to the world, to love, to life and to the soul.

And then I think maybe I don't want to accept that I am not that important in my friends' lives. Its not because they shut me out but it is just because life takes you in different paths. You can never know everything about each other any more. I know where I belong but the strings are of various lengths... I should'nt be complaining either. I am more detached than I thought and my promises of being for the other .. I have not been able to keep up!

I think I need a change. Serious change. There is a certain negative aura... Reasons are just that.. reasons! Not solutions...

People born on May 22

Alexander Pope: English Poet 1688

Arthur Conan Doyle: British Physician and Writer (Sherlock Holmes not Jurassick Park... dunno what I was thinking!!!) 1859

Harvey Milk: American Politician and civil rights activist 1930

Hergé: Belgian comic book creator (Tin-Tin) 1907

Naomi Campbell: English model and actress 1970

Ram Mohan Roy: Hindu Reformer 1772

I wonder why I have never tried to find this information before… With my uncertain path for the future, I am just glad that I found it today. These are people who I look up to. Not Naomi Campbell or Harvey Milk, but definitely Conan Doyle and Pope. I have been to Belgium and seen the comic book museum from the outside (we were late!!!) and I loved it. Now even more :)

Bday

I have been, for 23 years, excited about my birthday. Every year. Without fail. I have never thought about getting old as a bad thing. At each stage in your life, you get to do something you have always wanted to do. Obviously you cannot wish for something which has already passed you by. And if any point you have then you havent lived your life completely. Sad but accept it and give the coming years a real good chance.

This year, I am working on my birthday! I have never done that in my life!!! What a waste! I know it but I cannot think of having gifts, meeting friends who are there and not there. At this juncture, I really wish that I had a huge family. Well, I cannot get over being the only child in my home, aint giving that up easily, but I would have wanted a larger than life lunch or dinner with my huge loud, gregarious family this year.

Anyway... I really wish for a quiet, forgettable birthday (May be, after one like this I will be sure that I never waste away another birthday in vain!!! :D)

Binge

I haven't been so depressed for a long time. I am constantly changing my "word". The word that I fear the most. The word which if happens would end life as I know it. Its worse than fear. I think fear can be conquered.

--> Love

--> Hopelessness

--> Despair

--> Insignificance

This is actually in the order which I was and continue to be depressed about. I thought "love" was the be all and end all of things. Then I bumped into hopelessness and despair. But I never in my next moment did I think Insignificance was on its way. Now I do...

Bark and Leash

I have always left first.

I left my mom, father, school and college friends first. I stepped out of my home, and found my comfort zone in the world. Was I detached? I asked myself this question a hundred million times. Yes was my answer a few times. I made the place I went to, home. Cozy, surrounded with friends and an abundant supply of love along with many moments to cherish. I wasn't detached cause I knew that I am like a goat tied to a tree with a really long leash. I could go anywhere I wish and still be attached.

But still, I left first. With no regret in my heart, with no fear of the unknown and no sadness of missing anyone. I had everyone.

I left London, which till date feels like my second home. I can close my eyes and picture myself going through Baker street train station from one of my campuses. Walking along the muddy Thames. I grumbled about how the Parliament was so close but Thames still dirty. I grumbled about minimum wage, I debated whether the Guardian was better or the Independent. I wished to join the RSPCA or the British Heart Foundation. Neither happened. It was so me not to make my mind up.

I did not want orange juice with bits in it, pulp was too pulpy. gooey!

Now all I want is OJ with bits in them. I love them right now. This is my home now.

I still left first. From London. I don't remember anyone who returned to India before me. My friend went back to Germany and my coffee went cold. But I dint feel alone. I particularly was not ecstatic too turn and find a bunch of sullen face bidding me farewell. Although, I couldnt imagine myself being one among the sullen faces. I left the place first.

But now... I am the one left behind. By not one, not two but five favorite people in my life. My two best friends have left the country. My mom and another best friend have moved to a different city and today my roommate left for a month to NY. I know its a month. It is movement.

I haven't left the building, I came back.

I am dragging that tree at this time and the leash is strangling me...

Taj

This is what I am dreaming of for my next vacation! Taj Mahal in the night, in the moon lit sky.

I think I have to re-consider my theory about myself. I might be a romantic at heart. 

I explain no more...

[pic by: Per-Andre Hoffmann]