Precious few

I lost his five. The few things that I had of him are vanishing slowly. Death does not come quicker but separation came at sonic speeds... 

I love you in the midnight

I love you in the sky

I love you everywhere

I love you till I die... 

The five is among the Commons now. The precious few lost in the peripheral ... 

I don't

I feel cornered by my emotions. They are there, unwilling to budge, but I have applied grease for it to slide. This is not an easy task. I am trying to say these things out loud so that they go away. I am trying to accept things that I cannot change and to have the grace to accept events as they come.

My friend compared our sadness to people in Sudan who have a dearth of common amenities that we so easily take for granted, to a mother who suffers from cancer yet smiles knowing very well that each living day could as well be her last. But it does not help you separate your pain from your physical body or mental cognition. Stay positive, they say. Yes, I will but in an aspect that you wouldn't want me to. No, you wouldn't want that.

I have the wrappers
I have the 5 rupees
I have the blackness
I have the red tees
I have the handle
I have the shell
I have the song
I have the key
I have the sand
I have the watch
I have the train

But then I don't...

Fate's game in another

Here is the scenario. 

- An IPL tournament, 8 teams with different captains, leading a set of the World's greatest batsmen, each in their own right having the power to turn a match around. 

- The top three teams are in place for the semi-finals and vying for the last and fourth slot are two teams. One of the two teams temporarily holds the spot as they have finished with all the rounds in the preliminary games. 

- Now, the second team which could displace team A, if wins their last prelim game will get into the semis but if the other team, team B is playing wins, team A will remain in the top four as team B will not have sufficient points. 

- Team A's fate lies in the hands of Team B and its opponent Team C. 

If you, in life, are making all your decisions, all the rules that you will follow to the T, how does a self made person be able to accept that your fate lies in another person's hand, his decision, his mind frame, his competence? 

I realized that many times in life fear stops a person from doing a certain deed which he thinks is important but how do you manage a situation like this?

I have always tried to make my own decisions, however much I consult others, the end decision has been mine. But there have been circumstances, many as of late, is not in my hands. I am a control freak and this is freaking me out... 

I cannot bully people into doing somethings, I cannot sweet talk them either. There must be some way. And mind you prayer or bribery is not an option!

Cheers!

2010

Ok, this is weird. I havent written one post in ages... I havent been excited about writing in a long time. Other than the fact that I write when I am at work, I havent made the time to write! And I know that it aint doing good for my progress. I first of all dunno where I need to make progress... where am I progressing to? I am not a teenager any more and I need to know, a ball park figure once again, where I see myself ten years from now...

I know this is the field I want to be in. Its more a need, to do better, to get that news first, that urge to write better. I know that I need to be in Health. Tricky! Lovely... I mean, no where else but here!!! But where from noew???

Man I cannot think more convoluted stuff!!! :) I am enjoying 2010. I am getting back to being the crazy girl I was. Before the change, which I thought was for the good!! nope.... I am ray of sunshine who wants to bunjee jump although I am petrified of heights and might never live to tell the tale. I want to swim with the sharks. Like FOR REAL! :) I am ready 2010... 2009 was just a hog wash!!!

Beat u to the Mayan calendar! :)

Twilight - And now the movies series!

There's nothing like an unsolved mystery to keep you up at night

-Bella Swan

Isn't it supposed to be like this? The glory of first love, and all that. It's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?

- Edward Cullen

OK! So you guys already know that I loved the Twilight book series. I was kind of hell bent on not watching the movie cause I remember Robert Pattinson only as Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter. I have nothing against him playing different roles but Edward "Perfect" Cullen is not him! I keep repeating and I would say the same even after watching and liking the movie - You should see the Edward Cullen in my head! Robert Who wouldn't stand a bloody chance!

Anyway, at the beginning of the movie I couldn't get why Robert is playing Edward but somewhere in the middle of the movie he started to grow on me and at the end of it, I had accepted him as Edward of the screens! There are some parts of the movie that I would love to see again in the theatre. The effect and cinematography in certain scenes are amazing! The part where he carries her and runs and the way they have ripped the concept of a romantic date into teeny tiny bits when they show the view from the top. I did not consider myself as a romantic person until I read the books and I am sure there much better romantic novels out there, published that I should be ashamed that I figured it out with THIS book! But I am not and I am gladly passing judgement saying I thank God it wasn't Mills & Boons. :)

Both the lead actors can't act if they are told to in a particular way but if it's a natural sequence then they are quite believable. For example, when Bella Swan is made to sit near Edward Cullen in Bio class and he is desperately trying to keep away from her and her smell. He looks constipated! As if he HAS TO GO right then and there but with some sheer force he is holding it in! But then he looks peaceful when he asks Bella to come over to his place and he puts his arm around her in the school. Bella on the other hand, who also cannot act very well, is all over the place. The book has the support of words to explain minute emotions but in a movie with no background narration, her desperation, her desire, her unmanageable craving for Edward is just not expressed. Dead Pan Expression! But on the whole, I really liked the movie. I guess die-hard fan of the book mushed me into not being able to unlike the movie! Sigh!

Nothing beats a good romantic movie AND a Vamp... I am so there baby! :)

My living Place

I haven’t lived in many cities in the quarter years of my life, but the one thing that I have figured out is that I want to live in a city where I do not feel any inhibition or the lack of motivation to walk around aimlessly. It is a personal feeling of choice that I am talking about here. I realised that I will not be able to walk around Chennai just for the heck of it, after barring the weather effect on me. Even on the shores of the beach, I wouldn’t want to walk by myself. There is something unappealing and appalling about that idea. Whereas, in Bangalore, it is definitely about the familiarity of the city that pumps me up.

London was the place I found this concept to be true in my case. I am not a wanderer. I am not an explorer. My hand would probably be the last one to shoot up if anyone suggested a walk around the place. But after the “tourist visit” of the city was over, I was so comfortable walking by myself, with no rhyme or reason. I would have nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to meet, be alone, and feel like the last person standing, or rolling on the grass, on earth but still be fine with my environment. I have need to live in a place where I can be, just be.

Tense

Lust and Committment are single tense