Question and answer

why do I always run away before it starts?
why do I take a chance when I know it isnt meant to be?
I know that there is nt a future to it, I go ahead! Head on...
When I know there is an end to this, I hold back.

What is this obssession with the unknown and boredom with the known. Curiosity, sometimes. Excitement, for how long? Bound to leave me in Confusion, which I dont appreciate.

I think of all people I am the most committment phobic in the world. I mean I know that I usually have complete confidence in myself, in the sense if I am prepared to face the consequences of my actions however wrong the results are or let me put it this way, however the result has deflected from the expected. Taking life as it comes is a different thing. This is like I am studying post grad do get a MA.

If it feels right, it most probably is. I dont get that feeling cuz I have this perpetual doubt of things going wrong all the time. I always have a plan B. That might be a wise thing to do but, its like we all knw that one day we are going to die but we dont live life thinkin we will die one day right? Then why do I question the end when it has not yet begun???
I am not pessimistic.

I ask for loyalty. will I be loyal?
Yes, the passion dies away so will it be like I am in and there is no way out but stay???
I am not throwing questions at life. I am at myself.
I am no different from the person I critisize about being callous of other people's feelings cuz I am the same for others.
Where have I Begun?