12 August, 2012

You know, I have always -- well most often than not -- been the person who has gone and got something that I have wanted. I work on greed and want and need. I wanted love, I wanted to be with this one guy. I attempted to get him. In retrospect I realise it could never be about the guy itself. It was when I took the step. It was more about reaching out to see if I could get what I wanted. Quit a job, move to London, see if I can get a new job. Let go of my ego, tell a guy I love him and see if it works. But now I find myself in a weird predicament. I love my job. I have realised money and fame isn't everything for job satisfaction. I also realised I have no want. I don't have a man that I am in love with, half way like or even turn to have  a look at. So, what am I aiming for? The air? I have a bow and arrow and shooting in the dark when there are no enemies around me.

Necessity is the mother of all invention. Greed is the reason man evolves. Love is what makes him wake up every morning to take that overcrowded train. Happiness is why he kneels in front of a woman. Here I am standing straight, on the shores of a calm lake, with lots of fish but I am a vegetarian.

I can't even figure out if that analogy works. 

Over and out

2 Scribbles:

Sui Generis said...


Girl, I know what you are talking about.

I too had my chase of the man (not your man) but you get the drift.

Your analogy is indeed interesting, I always wonder at the old adage there are plenty fish in the sea.

But I have never really considered it as catching the fish and eating it :P

I guess I can leave you with my interpretation of that adage which is, sure there are plenty fish in the sea but there are other things too, which are not classified as fish.

If you cast your net you never know what you might catch,
but the question then becomes,
is it really a fish you are hoping to catch?


Amulya Nagaraj said...

Perhaps it is always about the chase and never the goal. Even if scoring the goal matches the image in your head... the question pops up where is the next goal.
I remember complaining that my job wasn't challenging. It paid me well and more, but I said it wasn't enough.
Perhaps we expect ONE thing to make us insanely happy, while all it does it drive you insane.
I've a million things to do, a million people to meet and I forget to ask myself the very question are you asking - what the hell do we want?

Raise your Shoulders and Fall back on your Knees, Piss through a Dime For the Whole World Sees