Master

Mine is a silent obsession. It doesn’t consume, doesn’t demand and I do not fear it. It does not take over my life’s decisions. But then it does. In subtle ways, when I do not expect it.

I have, over the years, heard many songs, instrumental music. I have figured certain things out and these findings have been quite consistent.
-- The sound of piano can evoke a feeling of romance or put me to sleep
-- The sound of drums never found a place in my heart. No emotions - of anger, sadness, excitement
-- The flute, I always associate with superficiality, snobbery and detachment.
-- Saxaphone, with a jazz twist, a complete picture to jive with. Happiness.

As always, not adhering to the inverted pyramid style of writing that is drilled into all journalists, I have kept the best for the last.

-- The strings of a guitar.

Today, I learned that the sound of a guitar can make me an infidel. Or, let me put it in other words, I heard a certain sound from a guitar, which is exactly how I would describe infidelity. I believe (at least for now) the emotions you pass through being infidel is the height of emotions (before and after the act. I wouldn’t consider acts as thoughts come into play and then decisions. Whole new post!!!)

I love the sound of the guitar. I have tried mastering it. I use the word master because I never managed to do that. The obsession doesn’t dictate people to help me out. It sticks and seduces and it is everything that I want.

Dreams a reality

Yes, I told myself, this is a dream! It cannot be true.

Say it cannot be REAL. It can be true if you want it!!!

I forced that sneaky, small yet larger than life voice out of my dream.

Oh! So you know for sure that I am in your dream? What if I walk towards you and gently caress your face with a feather? Thin as a butterfly’s wings, and as delicate, warm and so soft.

I felt something touch my face, but not as gently as she said she would. She was neither right nor wrong.

It can be true and it can be real.

I see him everyday, in a place definitely other than my dream. I see him in my office. It won’t be right on my part to say that I work in close quarters with him. But I can say that our paths do cross daily.

It is never enough for you and hence I was born, out of your indulgence. And I am willed to stay until … What am I saying? Forever!

His hand on my shoulder, he doesn’t seem short. My arm on his waist, he isn’t an ounce fatter.

Than whom? Than whom?? I am going to be alive always. (Laughter rings to wedding bells, to gongs at death)

Have you ever felt extremely hopeless about a situation in your life that you cannot move ahead and you definitely do not feel like getting stagnated in that spot???
Well, I am there at the moment. Not a great place at all.
This whole leaving things to time is getting to me. I know that it is the right thing to do but then I am so impatient.
Its like when it rains. I want it to just stop and I want to be able to get out of my house, room when I want to, without bothering that I will get drenched.

In search of freedom,
cannibal webs surround
silky strands of noose,
groping around the voice of music
Far from the depths of earth
grounded at the surface
surpassing all qualms of shame and guilt

Heavens laugh,
hell smirks its beckoning seduction
earthly raindrops felt on the face of innocence
no more alive, no more death
all for act of loosened bond chains
key to the portal disappeared, faint.