28 September, 2008

On Chesil Beach: by Ian McEwan

I did not see this book coming. I did not think a book like this would be ever brought out of fantasies or more so nightmares.

Honest and brutally truthful.

For many marriage might be the happiest moment of their lives but what next?

What do you do on the first night that you are left alone? Do you say something? do you talk incessantly or wonder whether it is a definite mood killer? Or do you just run away?

Beautiful yet saddening!

I loved it! a def 2 hour read! :) Ciao

Return of September

26 September, 2008

It has been exactly one year and 25 days since I got back from London. I still haven't yet got the inclination or the courage to rake through the left over stuff neither the stuff that I brought back. It is in a heap that I have not bothered to sort out.

To think about it... I had my dream, in a way, come true.

I WAS living with Joey! :) I had all the friends I made living on the same floor, one floor below and one a couple of blocks away. But we still ended up in the same kitchen. For Christmas, new year, Pongal (if I am not wrong), Valentine's, Saturday, Sunday and all the other days of the week. My dedication... Reminiscing ...

To London
To my first Starbucks coffee Grande
To us doing different courses in Westminster
To Susie and I screaming in the reception
To Lakshman, who we did not know then, thought we were nuts and soon found it was indeed true to every decibel!
To Shashank who put up with me when I threw him outta the room, more than twenty times (with a sad puppy face which got him loads of hugs from people in the corridor.. wink wink....!)
To Rahul who always emitted joy in his steps towards our block, every night
To Pavitra who gave me a reason to love walks in the park (with or without heavy luggage)
To Nikhil who makes the yummiest (only after Logan's) daal with butter
To Kshitij and his midnight plans
To Priya who sang while she fed us
To Sandra whose coffee and Potter mania pushed me to complete my dissertation
To Paris' Sortie, Belgium rum filled chocolates
To Srilankan Tamilian and Elvis (wink wink!!! not reallyyyy...)
To the old couple standing in the same queue as I was going to Chicago, going home

Last, to all my friends in India who stayed the same, waiting for me to get back.

Heap cleared!

The years have given a hourglass figure

20 September, 2008

I just saw and realised that my blog has an hour glass figure!

Ok well... at least one section of it :) Please See: Pages of His (her) tory

I think thats pretty cool :)

Love song hence

17 September, 2008

You once sat there with me in raging epiphany
Shaded with white so black, that grey fell shy
Our twined legs together on the cold granite table
Stretching imagination as far as we were able
Red, blue, brown set with rock, salt and reef
Is it summer, autumn or winter, have a look at this leaf?

Once, a far time ago, is now a live vulture’s feed
Where an exit was forlorn and contagious lead,
A green arrow pointed in a direction different
In one world we split to an opposite, us flippant
Yet our song, love will conquer all, made sense,
First, once, then and forever hence

Dreams a reality

16 September, 2008

Yes, I told myself, this is a dream! It cannot be true.

Say it cannot be REAL. It can be true if you want it!!!

I forced that sneaky, small yet larger than life voice out of my dream.

Oh! So you know for sure that I am in your dream? What if I walk towards you and gently caress your face with a feather? Thin as a butterfly’s wings, and as delicate, warm and so soft.

I felt something touch my face, but not as gently as she said she would. She was neither right nor wrong.

It can be true and it can be real.

I see him everyday, in a place definitely other than my dream. I see him in my office. It won’t be right on my part to say that I work in close quarters with him. But I can say that our paths do cross daily.

It is never enough for you and hence I was born, out of your indulgence. And I am willed to stay until … What am I saying? Forever!

His hand on my shoulder, he doesn’t seem short. My arm on his waist, he isn’t an ounce fatter.

Than whom? Than whom?? I am going to be alive always. (Laughter rings to wedding bells, to gongs at death)


13 September, 2008

I should learn to say something interesting or just take my leave!!

Gosh drooling never helps :)

Cya soon :)

12 September, 2008

Dear Surya,

I miss you already. Even before you left.

I am crazy with joy already. Even before we meet again.

I have no more words! Love you and God Bless...



Parle-G with (G)inger Tea

10 September, 2008

This has become a ritual of sorts. 4 Snappers kept awake by a tasty cup of ginger tea made in the cafeteria. But today I wanted something more. Little more to this experience than usual. So I turned to my old faithful, borrowed love, Parle-G.

Oh, I love saying this... My ex-Roomie brought this cheap yet appetising food item into our lunch time straight out of our childhood.

I still eat the sides first, preserve the middle part which has the name on it and then dissect it letter by letter.

Scene 1: I hid behind my three screens. I started the process and realised that I was a wee bit outta touch.
bRoKeN Buscuit pieces with Crumbs all over the desk.

Scene 2: Massacring one buscuit after another in that uncouth manner.
Pleasure derived, enjoyed.

will update with more quirks! :)

Life aint that bad huh?

09 September, 2008

Well, I have lately been excessively whining about how my life is uneventful and even under zero gravity, it sucks!

So I have decided (desperately, for my selfish benefit) to note down one incident, each day, which I think was the highlight of that 24 hour period. However trivial it might be or be seen as, that is and would be IT.

Knowing myself and assuming my expert knowledge on that subject to be accurate, I might not pursue this line of thought in the future. So I writing this right here and now. And NOW, I am raking my short-term memory field (I have spatial problems) to figure out the IT for the past week. If it makes me feel good, then I shall continue.

September 1: National Holiday in the United States of America and hence I sat at home and chilled on the first day of the month.

Nov 1st, 3rd year college, Dhanya (Neethu and I enjoying the evening at Aiwas): I believe that whatever we do on the first day of the month is what we would be doing the rest of the days of that month. We have started our month well :) (Not in quotes; in context)

5+7 = 6+6 (or whatever, hence deduced)

September 2: Scratch Scratch Scratch! Mom was at home. I got up early but not because of the annoying, eternally hungry cat of mine.

September 3: Went out with mom after a really long time to Little Italy. She ordered something which uncannily had the taste of a very famous south-Indian dish. Spent time figuring that out until the yummy Tiramisu arrived.

Bliss found, everything else forgotten.

September 4: Coffee at Barista after such a long time. Hot chocolate on a cold night is heaven.

September 5: Forgot to wish Neethu at 12. I did not say that the incident needs to be a happy one! Unhappy… tried to blame it on the alarm. I hadn’t kept one!

September 6: Met Santhosh after a long time. We wore the same coloured clothes, again. Three times in a row! Next time will message to find out what he is wearing. And I am saying this without trying to be corny …

I walked a lot. So much that I started getting pissed off. Not a good sign. Increase in patience level noted and patted. On the way to destination Ice n Spice, we sat at a bus stop for some rest.

1. We felt old. (It was Bhomi’s birthday so he had the right to! Dhanya, Santhosh and I looked plain, and painfully, guilty)
2. The bus stop was filthy and dusty. Reason: It was an abandoned stop. We looked like tourists, or worse, idiots!
3. Home delivery :D

September 7: Sunday. Do I need an incident to make me happy? God took a break and brought happiness to mankind, every week.

September 8: An incident happened today which made me think of writing this post. Nothing ground breaking. But I might have broken a few bones.

I fed Whiskas to my pet cat. (Yeah she and her expensive taste in food) and came into the living room with my eyes glued to the television. After minutes of standing there, not knowing how time had passed by or how quickly Betty had gobbled her food, I stepped backwards towards the couch.

In the meanwhile, Betty had made herself cosy at the foot of the sofa and she within seconds she saw my foot landing on her. My poor baby …

She scratched me and growled and I yelled because I think she might be pregnant and I was in pain. Both of us for five whole seconds yelled in our own species’ tongue. I laughed it off but she wasn’t too happy about it. But then I realised that nothing a little petting and cajoling cannot do. (This effectively meant that she got pampered, extra food, extra milk and I opened the door when she wanted to go gallivanting)

Cat is alive, for the people who care my toe is alright too :)

So you see my life is not as bad as I picture it to be and if I look deep, really dig deep inside, I can come up with incidents that make my life look like there is life to it and in it.

At least I am trying :-)

Chasing Dreams

07 September, 2008

I had a dream of being chased. First by Nazi looking guys and then once I jumped off the roof, I got into a huge residential area. Weaving through the small houses, I was now chased by goondas who looked they were from interior Tamil Nadu with sickles in their hands. I have no clue why and believe me hiding near the sliding doors of a lift is not a good idea when the lift has mirrors all around :-) Such a giveaway!!! lol

I went online to find out what were the explanations for dreams of being chased and here was what one of the websites said:

Dreams about being chased often stem from feelings of anxiety in your waking life. The way we as humans respond to anxiety and pressure in real life is typically manifested as a chase dream. Running is an instinctive response to physical threats in our environment. Often in dream scenarios, you are being pursued by an attacker (can be human, could be an animal) that wants to hurt, or possibly kill you.

Dreams about being chased may represent your way of coping with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life. Instead of confronting your problems, you are running away from them and avoiding them.

The pursuer or attacker who is chasing you in your dream may also represent a part of yourself. Your own feelings of anger, jealousy, fear, and possibly love, can assume the appearance of threatening figure. You may be projecting these feelings onto the unknown chaser. Next time you have a chase dream, turn around and confront your pursuer. Ask them why they are chasing you.

A more direct analysis of chase dreams is the fear of being attacked. Such dreams are more common among women than men, who may feel physically vulnerable in the urban environment. These dreams are inspired by fears of violence and sexual assault in which we are so over-exposed from the media. The violence that the media portrays magnifies our fears and how at risk we all are.

So next time I write a sequel to this post, I am hopefully updating it with the comments from my attacker!

Why are you chasing me?

Distant sound of bullets entering a person :)


03 September, 2008

Do read this article on Sahara, an Artic seal who doesn’t like the cold. (From Times online website)


The first comment on the article hits the bull’s eye! At least the first part of it

Lord Byron - Romance, an era

Lord Byron moves me to tears.

I want to be in the romantic era.

Words words words!!!! Mesmerising!


"And thou art dead, as young and fair
As aught of mortal birth; And form so soft, and charms so rare,
Too soon return'd to Earth!
Though Earth receiv'd them in her bed,
And o'er the spot the crowd may tread
In carelessness or mirth, T
There is an eye which could not brook
A moment on that grave to look. "

Am I grumbling?

I need to get out of here. I need to get out of Bangalore for goddamn good! I need a new life and nice one to boot!

And I want to repeat the above sentences over and over again until I get an answer telling me to how to go about it.

I found the answer is NOT within me.

It is NOT within reach.

How much ever I try, MONEY comes in the way. I found how much ever money I earn it would never be ENOUGH.

I cannot be in my tattered shoes anymore. I am getting a HEADACHE being me.

I am HAVING a headache.

Nothing goes my way. The way I am going is MOST probably and would be the worst possible way I could ever take.

Comes LATE

Goes early

I want to break things. I want to scream like I am in a horror movie. I want to scream because I have to live MY Life!

I want to work and study.

It is so fucking depressing in this place. It is just so fucking depressing! Just so fucking depressing!!

Best Friends' Weddings

01 September, 2008

Last week vanished like a dream.

A great start for a new beginning.

Memories to be forgotten only to be replaced with new ones of togetherness.

(Made me wonder why I never went back to Chennai earlier)

Two beautiful brides (and ok-ok looking grooms :-) Great guys for my awesome friends.

Opposite ends of the world meet here, part here to different parts of the world.

Imagining Opera House, Coral Reefs, Ground Zero and the Niagara Falls (Obviously sitting on the beach in Nice).

When shall we meet again? (Mouthing a prayer)

Soon, real soon.
Raise your Shoulders and Fall back on your Knees, Piss through a Dime For the Whole World Sees