People born on May 22

Alexander Pope: English Poet 1688

Arthur Conan Doyle: British Physician and Writer (Sherlock Holmes not Jurassick Park... dunno what I was thinking!!!) 1859

Harvey Milk: American Politician and civil rights activist 1930

Hergé: Belgian comic book creator (Tin-Tin) 1907

Naomi Campbell: English model and actress 1970

Ram Mohan Roy: Hindu Reformer 1772

I wonder why I have never tried to find this information before… With my uncertain path for the future, I am just glad that I found it today. These are people who I look up to. Not Naomi Campbell or Harvey Milk, but definitely Conan Doyle and Pope. I have been to Belgium and seen the comic book museum from the outside (we were late!!!) and I loved it. Now even more :)

Bday

I have been, for 23 years, excited about my birthday. Every year. Without fail. I have never thought about getting old as a bad thing. At each stage in your life, you get to do something you have always wanted to do. Obviously you cannot wish for something which has already passed you by. And if any point you have then you havent lived your life completely. Sad but accept it and give the coming years a real good chance.

This year, I am working on my birthday! I have never done that in my life!!! What a waste! I know it but I cannot think of having gifts, meeting friends who are there and not there. At this juncture, I really wish that I had a huge family. Well, I cannot get over being the only child in my home, aint giving that up easily, but I would have wanted a larger than life lunch or dinner with my huge loud, gregarious family this year.

Anyway... I really wish for a quiet, forgettable birthday (May be, after one like this I will be sure that I never waste away another birthday in vain!!! :D)

Binge

I haven't been so depressed for a long time. I am constantly changing my "word". The word that I fear the most. The word which if happens would end life as I know it. Its worse than fear. I think fear can be conquered.

--> Love

--> Hopelessness

--> Despair

--> Insignificance

This is actually in the order which I was and continue to be depressed about. I thought "love" was the be all and end all of things. Then I bumped into hopelessness and despair. But I never in my next moment did I think Insignificance was on its way. Now I do...

Bark and Leash

I have always left first.

I left my mom, father, school and college friends first. I stepped out of my home, and found my comfort zone in the world. Was I detached? I asked myself this question a hundred million times. Yes was my answer a few times. I made the place I went to, home. Cozy, surrounded with friends and an abundant supply of love along with many moments to cherish. I wasn't detached cause I knew that I am like a goat tied to a tree with a really long leash. I could go anywhere I wish and still be attached.

But still, I left first. With no regret in my heart, with no fear of the unknown and no sadness of missing anyone. I had everyone.

I left London, which till date feels like my second home. I can close my eyes and picture myself going through Baker street train station from one of my campuses. Walking along the muddy Thames. I grumbled about how the Parliament was so close but Thames still dirty. I grumbled about minimum wage, I debated whether the Guardian was better or the Independent. I wished to join the RSPCA or the British Heart Foundation. Neither happened. It was so me not to make my mind up.

I did not want orange juice with bits in it, pulp was too pulpy. gooey!

Now all I want is OJ with bits in them. I love them right now. This is my home now.

I still left first. From London. I don't remember anyone who returned to India before me. My friend went back to Germany and my coffee went cold. But I dint feel alone. I particularly was not ecstatic too turn and find a bunch of sullen face bidding me farewell. Although, I couldnt imagine myself being one among the sullen faces. I left the place first.

But now... I am the one left behind. By not one, not two but five favorite people in my life. My two best friends have left the country. My mom and another best friend have moved to a different city and today my roommate left for a month to NY. I know its a month. It is movement.

I haven't left the building, I came back.

I am dragging that tree at this time and the leash is strangling me...

Taj

This is what I am dreaming of for my next vacation! Taj Mahal in the night, in the moon lit sky.

I think I have to re-consider my theory about myself. I might be a romantic at heart. 

I explain no more...

[pic by: Per-Andre Hoffmann]

You know, death is easier to write about than the Devil!

Abhiyum Naanum

My dad was very excited when he came to Bangalore this time. He had just seen this tamil movie called “Abhiyum naanum”. He had the CD with him and he wanted me to watch it. Although he would have wanted both of us to watch it together, which obviously did not happen, he spoke with fervour about the movie that I had to watch it. In his words, with or without him, I had to see it immediately. Also because it was not his CD and he had to return it to his neighbour, who for some reason seems quite touchy about this disc! Whatever!

Anyway, as my nights’ sleep is effectively spoilt because of my work timings, I thought what the hell… let’s watch this movie dad’s been raving about. Bed’s spread- check, pillows all around- check, hot coffee- check, headphones- check, so I started the movie.

It was like someone was telling me a story. I was instantly dragged into the movie and the emotions. I tried pulling out of it for insane reasons but the narration was so powerful that you wanted to know. I remember being this attentive only a couple of times. Once and the strongest memory is when my grandmother told stories of the Gods and Goddess. And the other is when my history teacher taught us WW-1.

I was completely captured by the movie. Their exaggerated but fitting expressions were apt. Their animated voices, which I usually consider very irritating, were comical. Out of the movie ratings that I have - - Yeah why not, Must watch and Must by hook or crook watch it - - I would give it a “Must watch by hook or crook for the daughter-father combo” n yeah why not for the others.

And Oh! if you are the emotional, I love my dad very much type, please keep a couple of tissues ready!

ONO

birth- gosh!

My colleague at work rightly pointed out since I got into my team I have been attending one marriage after another. It is not that I don’t attend weddings but since I finished college, I am noticing many of my friends who are of the same age getting hitched.

I guess summer’s the season!

The real reason for me to write this post is not that I am attending more marriages; it is that among the many, there are quite a number of “arranged marriages”. And the astonishing fact, which I am freaked out about, flabbergasted about, is that the girls are already pregnant!

I am not particularly fond of kids for various reasons, one being I do not have the patience to listen to their garb or answer the questions they keep asking on a regular basis. I am not against getting pregnant if the couple want to start a family. But what I cannot understand is in this time and age when contraceptives are so prevalent, condoms being available for not more than 10 bucks, why young couples who are in the age range of 20-24 get pregnant.

Specifically, when it is an arranged marriage, you have no idea what kind of person you have married in the first place. I have known my friends for more than 5 to 7 years and I still discover new things about them everyday or every time I meet them! Why don’t these girls take at least a year to get to know each other, spend time, have fun and then commit to a long-term investment. Sex is a good thing in a marriage, but reproducing so quickly, for me, is not. Not even when it is a guy you were in love with and married. Take some time for yourselves. Enjoy each other’s company.

Gosh!